That's right, we're not perfect. Truth is, we have failed almost as many times as we have succeeded. To prevent incrimination, we won't say exactly who has been responsible for most of the failures. To keep it anonymous, we'll just call him T. Newton. No, that is too obvious. How about Tyler N?
Either way, here is a description of some of our more popular failures:
We originally filled 10 cups of dirt and planted 2 seeds in each. Of the 20 total seeds, we had two cucumbers and 1 pepper that came up. The other cups sat on our kitchen table for almost 3 months before we tossed them last week.
The cucumbers were transplanted outside on May 30. We proudly hovered over them that evening, discussing our genius and future fortunes. As we retired for the night, we were visited with dreams of cucumber fairies and pickled pixies.
For the 12 hours of their transplanted lives, they lived honorably.
Here's what they looked like after the snowfall.
By the next day, they had disappeared completely.
Now back to the last standing sprout: the green pepper.
While veiled in the robes of mourning for our lost cukes, we forgot to water the pepper and it suffered a slow and hot death in the window sill.
How about the other seeds we planted, such as sunflowers, broccoli, and banana peppers? Your guess is as good as ours. Twice we planted sunflowers, and twice we were skunked. Our broccoli and peppers never sprouted, and we soon dug a furrow through their resting grounds. I think they preferred a burial at sea.
And let's not forget the time we advertised our garden as "organic". The feds were on us like rats on a holiday fruitcake. Within 24 hours, the USDA showed up and shut us down. They issued a mandatory moratorium, claiming we lacked the necessary hive of ladybugs as required by law to maintain an "organic" label. Oh we had a hive... in fact, both ladybugs had been hand-placed in the garden. Who knew you had to register the queen bug with the USDA? (Don't worry, we resolved this one without AARP intervention).
Although we've had our share of failures, we must say that our fame and fortune has far exceeded our expectations.
In fact, our fortune now totals 12 cents (37 cents for a picture sold on eBay; however, we forgot to account for the cost of printing and envelopes - 25 cents, and yet another failure).
Our fame is basically nationwide as well. In fact, here is the link:
www.heraldextra.com
Scroll down to "Local News Video" and click on the DHTV Parking...
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