Don't Cry for Me

Onions.

"The easiest thing to grow."

Say no more. We're cursed already.

So a couple weeks back, I was given some onions from my co-worker Laurie.

Her exact words were "These are the easiest thing to grow. Stick them in the ground and they come up."

Well stick them in the ground, we did.

Not only did we stick them in the ground, but we marked their height for future reference, and placed a drone worker there to manage the soil (or de-mine it, whichever seemed most prudent to him). We also placed a time-lapse camera to capture the onion's growth.

Fourteen days later, we checked the film. Sadly, the only things caught on tape is footage of us marking the same spot each day on the measuring stick (don't worry Dave, we won't mention anything about the film of you playing with the army men, and we certainly won't mention the whimpering noises you made after a "worm bit you"). How this has happened, we're not sure. Even more disquieting is that the worker looks like he hasn't moved. What we're paying him for, I'm not sure, but I doubt he deserves it.

Now we're not sure where to go from here. Our tear ducts are full and ready to be used, but we just need something to cry about. (please see the newest poll)